Thursday, August 7, 2008

Experiments gone awry.

Some time ago, I made a pact with myself. I would always be complety honest. I had a time where, due to my dishonesty, I lost everything. Literally. Had to begin my life again from scratch. So I decided that it would be complete honesty from here on out. I express every thought when I feel it needs to be expressed and I express it at the soonest possible opportunity. I hold back nothing. It has worked out great for the most part. I have no guilt or regret from the last few years. It's very freeing.

However, I just wrote an extremely long blog about being overweight and my experience with it. Tried to write it with complete honesty. Guess what? I can't post it.

It's disappointing. I thought I had this honesty thing down. I thought I could tackle anything with no fear. I was wrong.

Interesting.

1 comment:

Welby said...

Wow. What an immense and lovely goal to set for yourself! I set the lesser (but still important) goal of being honest with myself about two years ago, and I'm still pretty sure that I've missed the mark.

You've done beautifully, though! A profound goal of honesty and when you don't meet it as well as you'd like, you're still honest about the moment when you falter. But you also said that you "express every thought when I feel it needs to be expressed." It seems evident that you didn't feel this needed to be expressed right now. So maybe you didn't falter at all. Maybe this just isn't the right time, and writing out your honest feelings gave you adequate pause to realize that.

Sometimes we all need pause, dear girl.