"It's not nice to hate...."

I need to explain something to all my adoring fans who do not know the real me...

I LOVE TRASHY STUPID B-RATED HORROR MOVIES. I MEAN LOVE. LIKE "TINGLE IN MY SPECIAL PLACES" LOVE. LOVE, LOVE, LOVE. IS THIS CLEAR ENOUGH? LOVE.

So, last Friday night, I realized I had no reason to get up early on Saturday. None. Seriously rare occurence in my life. Therefore, I decided to stay up late and watch bad television. Always a treat. I surfed, flipped, watched two episodes of "What Not to Wear" (little in love with Clinton) and some interview with Michael Buble who is actually really funny. Then, about midnight, I stubbled upon something. Black and white...good. Lon Chaney Jr....good. Grown women in little girl clothing...good. Spiders...good. Imbecile man kept in small confined areas...good. I think to myself, "Ooooo, Pollywog, you've happened upon a good'un." I got all settled in my recliner, pulled a blanket over me, fixed my pillow behind my head and prepared to enjoy a crappy old film. Then I promptly fell asleep. Damn. Damn, damn, damn.

Long story long but not quite as long as it could be, I found out the next morning I was watching a film called Spider Baby. It's also known as The Maddest Story Ever Told. It's also known as Attack of the Liver Eaters. It's also known as Cannibal Orgy. I knew then and there I must own it. I jumped on Amazon and ordered it. It arrived yesterday and I watched it in its entirety last night. Oh...my...God. I beyond loved it. I want to marry this movie. I'm thinking of watching it again tonight. It is the first appearance of Sid Haig who you might have seen in a Rob Zombie movie (which explains why it was on TMC. They have a program called Underground which is hosted by Rob Zombie.)

My point is if you can get your hands on this movie, please watch it. It is soooooo fucked up in the most glorious way. Would make for great October entertainment.